space

I have found a place where I can go. Mentally and physically to move away from things. Its a new happy place. I dont know how long this space will be good to me. But it helps me now.

I have finished one book so far over break. Its an autobiography of modernist/expressionist Marc Chagall. It was translated from Russian to French to English... I believe. Well, in the process they must have asked someone with the same writing skills that I have to translate it. Meh. The writing was weak. It was very hard to understand with the amount of names, places, and lack of dates. Very little point of reference. I appreciated the story, thought there was some things that were purposely missing, and was too PG when it should have been at least PG-13.

My next book is the Biography of Woody Allen. Its a much better read. I havnt seen every Woody Allen movie, and the ones I have seen blur together, so it becomes tough at times. But ill get through it.

what

Ive been bored. So Ive started doing a nude self portrait. Is that weird?

I always want to nude model, but Ive never really had the chance. I love drawing nudes, so i gave myself time to do it. Im still not comfortable with it. Maybe its because its not very good yet. Maybe its because of shame. Im not comfortable having it in my bathroom and Im not comfortable having it around in general. I think I need to accustom myself to it the just show it the fuck off so i can get it past the point of 'yes, that me naked.'

There is a lot about myself that I didnt know. A lot of measurements of my body and the way some things are shaped and formed. I havnt been to observant of the way my body is shaped. I dont have the mirror or ability to study my body and features like I can others. Its an interesting experience. Im trying to not rush it and I hope everything comes out alright.